Ryan: "First the iPod. Then, the iPod Nano. Then, the iPod Touch. And now... the iPod Human! The iPod human comes in multiple colors! Wicked white! Burnt black! Yucky yellow! Or even retarded red! The iPod human is only $799.99! And it can hold up to 6 and a half songs! Here are some of our satisfied customers!"
Ryan: "The iPod human ruined my life! Why would you make such a thing!? Why would you—"
Sean: "The iPod human sucks!"
Sean (as a girl): 'I hate the iPod human."
Old Man: (mumbling)
Ryan: "Use the iPod human at home!"
iPod Human (Ryan): Ohh! What's love got to do, got to do with it! What's love—"
Ryan: "In the car!"
iPod Human (Ryan): "Soulja boy off in this hoe! Watch me crank it, watch me roll! Watch me crank that soulja boy then super man that hoooooooeeeeee!"
Ryan: "In the bathroom!"
iPod Human (Ryan): Ooo ha! Hoo ha! Na, na na na na, na, na na na na na—"
Ryan: "Or even when you go to bed!"
iPod Human (Ryan): F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for U and me! N is for anywhere,and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!"
Ryan: "The iPod human is light and portable! And you'll never lose it because it has a built in alarm that goes off every three seconds!"
iPod Human (Ryan): "DAH! (three seconds later) DAH!"
Ryan: "So what are you waiting for!? Buy the iPod human before it's too late!" (Sean in the background trying to say no)
Ryan: "The iPod Human does not protect against STDs. If you experience explosive diarrhea, cramping, vomiting, or even death, contact your doctor because the iPod Human may not be right for you."
Ryan: "ORDER NOW! TEEHEE!